You soak up joy like it’s a spill on the counter — an energy vampire in human form, draining the room dry and leaving behind nothing but awkward silence and secondhand dread.
• 100% cotton — because synthetic fibers make you sweat like your last therapy session.
• Soft-structured — just like your emotional boundaries.
• Five panel — five times the regret you’ll feel after buying it (but in a cute way).
• Low profile — unlike your mental breakdowns.
• Metal eyelets — for ventilation, not spying on your ex.
• Nylon strap clip closure — holds together better than your last relationship.
Made with care
Heirloom quality
Premium materials
Classic styling
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